Parasocial relationships: How they affect your mental health

Reviewed by Stephanie Steinman, PhD, CSAC

Written by

therapist.com team

Last updated: 10/18/2024

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What is a parasocial relationship?

A parasocial relationship (PSR) is a one-sided connection that a person forms with a media figure, typically someone they’ve never met in person. They may view the media figure as a friend, authority figure, mentor, or romantic interest.

Despite the relationship being entirely one sided, people in PSRs often feel a sense of intimacy and familiarity with the media figure. This sense of connection may feel particularly strong if the media personality has shared personal details of their lives with the public, creating an illusion of closeness.

Parasocial relationship examples

PSRs can develop across different media platforms and with diverse types of public figures or characters. Though they may look similar, there are many types of parasocial relationships. A parasocial relationship might look like:

• A fan feeling deeply connected to a favorite actor or actress
• A person who regularly watches a YouTuber feeling like they know them personally
• A child forming an attachment to a cartoon character
• Someone who follows a TikTok influencer and considers them a friend
• A listener feeling emotionally invested in a podcast host’s life
• A reader developing romantic feelings for a fictional character in a book
• An audience member feeling a strong connection to a news anchor or talk show host

Signs you’re forming a parasocial relationship

There are no specific criteria for what defines a parasocial relationship. And having some amount of excitement or admiration surrounding public figures is normal. But there are some signs that your feelings towards a celebrity may have crossed the line into a PSR.

These signs include:

• Feeling a strong emotional connection to a media figure who doesn’t know you
• Feeling like your connection to them grows as you consume more of their content
• Viewing them in a positive light despite not knowing them personally
• Experiencing emotional reactions to their successes or failures
• Seeking out information about their personal life
• Feeling defensive when others criticize them
• Imagining conversations or interactions with them
• Feeling a sense of loss when they’re not active on social media or in the public eye
• Prioritizing consuming their content over other activities
• Feeling like you understand them better than others do
• Experiencing jealousy when they interact with other fans or celebrities

If you think your interest in a celebrity may have become problematic, trust your instincts. You may want to work with a licensed therapist to identify any patterns that are affecting your mental health.

The psychology behind parasocial relationships

Researchers have looked toward the same mental models as real-life relationships to understand parasocial relationship psychology, which helped them create a framework for how PSRs develop.¹ The stages of developing a parasocial relationship include:

1. Initiation: Seeing the media figure for the first time and forming an impression.

2. Experimentation: Seeking more information about the figure by interacting with their content or consuming more media they appear in.

3. Intensification: Cementing your commitment to the media figure.

4. Integration: Making your commitment to the media figure a part of your personal identity.

Each stage has mental, emotional, and behavioral aspects. Not everyone goes through all the stages, and people can stay in any stage for varying lengths of time. How people progress through the stages depends on individual differences.

Although anyone can form a PSR, they’re common among adolescents, possibly because of the developmental stage they’re in and their tendency to consume more media. Research shows that they look toward PSRs to help shape their identity and sense of independence.²

Are parasocial relationships healthy?

Parasocial relationships have the potential to be both beneficial and problematic.³ Ideally, benefits of parasocial relationships can include:

• Helping people feel less lonely
• Improving coping during challenging times
• Increasing open-mindedness

However, they can also have harmful effects. While your emotional investment is real, the reality is that the relationship is one-sided. And you might find yourself spending so much time consuming content about a particular media figure that it starts interfering with your real-life relationships and responsibilities.

Even if you can keep your emotional investment in check, there’s still the risk of negative self-comparison. In some cases, these comparisons can lead to feelings of inadequacy or low self-esteem. This may be especially true for parasocial relationships with social media influencers who often present curated, idealized versions of their lives.

Parasocial relationships as a coping mechanism

PSRs may help people cope with feelings of loneliness, but they’re less effective than close personal relationships.⁴ And if you have a preexisting mental health condition or unresolved trauma, you may be more susceptible to the negative effects of parasocial relationships. A study of anxious older adults with difficult childhoods found that their parasocial relationships with TV characters predicted increased depressive symptoms.⁵

Parasocial relationship break-up

A “break-up” can happen in a parasocial relationship if the public figure retires, stops posting online, or generally becomes harder to access. Though it’s one-sided, people may experience feelings of loss similar to those in a break-up of a relationship in real life.

How to deal with parasocial relationships in healthier ways

If you think you may have formed a PSR that’s negatively impacting your life, consider these strategies:

Set boundaries on media consumption. You may want to limit the time you spend engaging with content related to the media figure. Be mindful of how much emotional energy you’re investing in the relationship.

Replace bad habits with healthier ones. Try to stop constantly checking for updates about the media figure. Instead, engage in activities or hobbies that make you happy and help you relax.

Cultivate your real-life personal relationships. Focus on building and strengthening connections with friends, family, and community members.

Practice self-reflection. Examine why you’re drawn to this particular PSR and what needs it might be fulfilling.

Seek professional help if needed. If you find that your PSR is causing distress or interfering with daily life, consider talking to a therapist or counselor.

Visit our directory to find a mental health professional in your area who specializes in relationships and can provide the guidance and support you need.